Bringing It Down

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I fell back down to 261.5 this morning. I’m curious how tomorrow will look. I’ve really had an excellent week eating. Though, my diet sucks ass. There’s a reason I haven’t talked about my every day diet, and it’s really a matter of backing off crap and adjusting my diet to include fresh, home cooked food, and prepared lunches.

I see so many great daily food logs. I can’t find anything that is easy to use…and that something being something I really want to update every day. My mind is a Rolodex of diets. I know what I eat, I know the damage, I know why something isn’t working. So, I’m starting really slow. Preparing my own food is a gigantic step. Getting sleep is a gigantic step. I think that’s why I’m not posting my daily diet as well. I just don’t need to share it, for myself. I know what it is. That’s where I am right now with that.

I will either go running or biking this weekend. Perhaps both.

Tomorrow’s Gonna Change!

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I have no fear. I’ve had a great 3 days.

Of course, if it doesn’t improve, I’ll still be here.

Blogging every day right now just to keep the line moving.

Shirtman

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I’ve never imagined myself without a shirt, looking like one of the cover models on Men’s Health. It never crossed through my mind at all. I’ve never visualized washboard abs.

I’ve visualized myself in a medium shirt, without a gut. A proper fitting shirt just slightly overlapping the jeans that are size 32 or 34 maybe. Instead of an 2X or 3X shirt that hangs way below the waist, or worse, tucked in and pulled out a few inches over the waist. In hindsight, my guess is I was embarrassed by the bigger shirts I needed to wear when I was younger.

I’ve gotten a lot better. I’ve bought 2X shirts and wore them..and had to talk myself out of thinking they were tight. They weren’t tight. They just fit, and that happened to fit around the chub.

I think my point here is I don’t want abs of steel. While that would be wonderful, I really just want the basic ordinary thin guy look. It’s not a matter of wanting it, I’ll get it. You can bet your ass that I’ll get there.

I ate well today, mainly because I was too busy to think about food. Funny how that works out, huh?

Reverse Direction!

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I almost didn’t list my weight for the last 2 days.

I thought about mentioning that I was visiting family and using someone else’s scale, and thinking that would be cause enough to ignore numbers I didn’t like. The thing is, if the scale read numbers that were lower, I would’ve gladly accepted them and proclaimed victory for the day. I could’ve also listed the dates as ‘—‘, but that’d be lying. The one ‘—‘ to date is due to actually not weighing in. If I can’t be truthful here, there’s no reason to blog.

I also could’ve not blogged until the numbers were going in the right direction. The thing is, I’ve already tried that, and that led to months without blogging.

So, why the reversal of fortune? Partly because I’m eating out, eating late, and overeating. Partly because I’m not working out. I need to move my body while eating better. Cold weather is the lame excuse that I’ve been giving myself.

Tomorrow is a new day, so here we go.

The Numbers Game

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Growing up, my dad would occasionally play The Numbers Game. Usually when the prize money was huge. The lottery held the numbers drawing during the last commercial break during Jeopardy, right before the 8 O’clock hour. I think the best he’s ever done was come up with 2 numbers, or whatever is necessary to win a free quick pick for the next lottery drawing.

I feel like I’m playing the numbers game on a daily basis, and I’m not seeing my number come up. The number is going up.

However, I know how this works. I know I ate late on Sunday night. I know I ate late on Tuesday night. I know I ate late last night. I ate dinner before 830PM tonight, and lunch and breakfast all week has been awesome.

I’m thinking tomorrow morning might be a bit better. Maybe not, though. If not, then we’ll take a closer look at what I’m eating.

No worries yet, I still have this!

Narrowing It Down

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I used to have an extensive list of blogs. The thing is, I wasn’t reading them. I added them, and read them maybe once every 6 months. I added bloggers to the right that is much closer to the list of bloggers that I actively seek out. In some cases I subscribe to their RSS feeds or have their newest posts emailed to me.

I suck at building myself into the weight loss blogging community. I’ve tried. I’ll continue to try, with twitter and writing here. I don’t have any goals, though, in that regard. I enjoy the community, and want to learn about more of the great writers that exist in the community. They have amazing ideas, so the hope I have is that the list to the right will grow, with awesome bloggers that I’ll learn from.

No weigh in today, but back into it tomorrow.

Weigh In Musings

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Start date: 1/4
Start Weight: 265
Current weight: 261.5
Lost this week: 4.5
First Goal: 250

Technically the scale said 261.5 this morning, but it has fluctuated up & down all week,..but trending downward, which is the mission. I’m sure tomorrow’s weigh in will be 262.5 or 262, Sunday’s may be 261.5 again, Monday could be 260.5 or 261. During my last weight loss, the fluctuations were similar until I had gotten myself into a better schedule of eating. Late dinners are not uncommon for me, so it’s a matter of pushing those up earlier in the evening. I attribute this initial weight loss to simply cutting out trips to the candy machine, making breakfast at home, & bagging my lunch every day since 1/4. In my head, bagged lunch = portion control = less caloric intake than ordering lunch or stopping by the deli.

I’m also aware that 4.5 is more than double the recommended healthy weight loss per week, but I think that can be attributed to the initial change of diet. The bagged lunches I eat are maybe 500 calories, and the lunches I’d order out probably exceeded 1,000 when you factor in the soda and whatnot.

I’ve biked 40 miles or so since 1/4, and hope to bust out another long(20+ miles,or 2 10+ miles) ride this weekend to keep my body moving. I’ve also read about a bunch of home workouts with dumb bells that I’d like to give a whirl. One that seemed right up my alley was the dumb bell push up row(?), but I think I have the wrong name for it. It was in the most recent Men’s Health. A gym is opening near by workplace in mid February, offering $10/month deals, which I may take up on its offer. By then, construction in the office should be done, and the shower should be available..thus biking to work would be available.

Between maintaining the newly establish eating habits and getting on my bike, I’m hoping for a continued loss into next week.

Where Are They Now? The Real Question: Where Am I?

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A year and a half ago, I was riding high and called out a number of bloggers who vanished.

I posted those blogs because I didn’t want to become one. I don’t want to become a dead space. A failed dream floating through the interwebs. Unfinished business. Unlost weight. Gained weight. Failure.

There are so many things you can call it. Denial. Or maybe they discovered their weight loss plan off line? Why does it seem like that is probably not the case?

Maybe it’s just me. I don’t think it is though. I often read bloggers who I want to be like, or consider similarly minded in their weight loss goals or how they feel towards the challenge of changing their lives permanently.

I feel bad that I called out these bloggers, because I did my own disappearing act for a few months.

I didn’t really have a point here, I think I just need to tell myself that this venture is different.

Hunger, or Habit?

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I got really hungry at 10:30am today. The thing is, I’m not sure if it was hunger, or if I was just craving a snack that I would otherwise have. Candy, or chips, or something else shitty.

As I’m rededicating my efforts, I’m forgetting how it’s easy to want to revert to the easy way out. Strong cravings to junk food? Just answer it. That’s what I would normally say to myself.

What do you eat for snacks? Fresh fruit? Yogurt? Something entirely different? This is an area I need to build on. I’m a snacker, and until I can stop fully being a snacker, I need to substitute the act of snacking with stuff that doesn’t totally ruin my day.

I biked yesterday, and I’m going to go either biking or running tonight. Possibly running..just to get a sense for it. It would just be the 2.18 mile route I do for short bike rides, but it’ll take twice as long. Maybe three times as long.

Also shooting to hit the sack earlier than I’ve been going the last few nights.

Try To Lose Hope

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A wise man commented on the last blog entry that I WILL lose 50 pounds, and that it’s not about trying. It’s kind of funny, because I had the same conversation with my sister via text this morning.

My sister & I battle the bulge differently, but we always find great ways to encourage each other. It might be a text that says ‘What was for lunch?’ or ‘I’m down 2 lbs from last week!’. This morning we exchanged stats, and she said “I’m going to try to get to the gym 3 times this week.”. I responded with, “We’re removing ‘try’ from our vocabulary.”.

I do believe the best way to actually do something you set your mind to is by removing the option to quit. “I hope to lose 50 pounds” isn’t as good as “I will lose 50 pounds.”, just like “I’ll try to eat better” isn’t as good as “I will eat better”.

In the rare instances of life, trying and hoping are negatives here. It’s about being affirmative in decisions.

In another news, I biked 5.22 miles tonight! On this day last year, I biked 2.18 miles in the morning. I’m hoping to bike tomorrow, too!

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